I was the ‘golden child’; straight A’s, honor band, accelerated classes. While in high school, I met my high school sweetheart. He was from the wrong side of the tracks. Our relationship was frowned upon because we were exact opposites.
At the beginning of sophomore year, I found out I was pregnant. My mom was devastated and wanted me to abort, but I was determined to keep the baby and figure out a way to support her.
I often heard the phrase, “if you have a child, you’ll throw your life away.” I was not gonna let having a child at 16 turn me into a “delinquent”. I was determined to break stereotypes of being a teenage mom. I never wanted to be labeled a certain way. I felt empowered to prove to everyone that I could have an unexpected pregnancy, raise a child, and still be a good student, a hard worker, a college graduate, and be successful in anything I decided to do.
As much as I could, I wasn’t going to let this pregnancy change my plans.I always knew I wasn’t destined for a 9 to 5. Although, I wasn't sure what that looked like for me as a 17-year-old, but I knew working my whole life wasn't it. I always knew I was different, and having a child in my teens gave me the drive to become more.
School was non-negotiable, so after the baby was born, I continued my schooling online so that I could work full-time. I was working forty hours a week as a seventeen-year-old. I would wake up before my dad and leave home at 3:30am to be at work by 4am. My mom would take my daughter to daycare and I would pick her up when I got off, around 12pm. I had WIC assistance helping me purchase formula and some grocery items, but I was also responsible for paying for daycare and diapers. My mom allowed us to remain at home which helped me.
I graduated high school early and moved in with my baby daddy in our own little home. Soon after, I became pregnant again. At one point he was working three jobs, while I worked part-time and mostly stayed home raising our children, but I was happy where we were at in life. This was our “starting point” and I was excited for the future. I wanted to get married and be happy with my little family. It was all going well, until life threw me another major curveball. Eight months after our second baby was born, I became a widow.
As you can imagine, my life caved in on itself. How was I supposed to match his three job incomes as a single mom? My two girls and I moved back in with my mom and I filled our schedules with as many after-school activities as possible to keep us busy and help us get through the days. After a few months, I was determined to show everyone again how strong I was, so I took the girls and went back to live at my own home.
Then as a single mother, I started going to community college full-time and continued working part-time. I applied for all the government assistance I could and it helped me tremendously. You name it, I was on it. I had food stamps, daycare cost assistance, I was even able to get my college schooling paid for. All that assistance was great, but I quickly realized that I was scared to start making more money because I knew I would lose the assistance once I did. I got stuck working for a minimum wage for a few years until I realized I wanted more out of life. That's when I started my financial journey, finally paying attention to what my money was doing. I wanted to travel, have a nice home, and not have to work 24/7.
As an Achiever, my core concern was and is “failing to reach my full potential”. But going through everything I have has made me grateful for all of it.. I refused to let having kids at an early age hold me back from being myself, and I am proud of who I am and what I’ve done. If I could go back and tell myself anything, it would be to never give up and to never accept others' opinions of you. You can do whatever you set your mind to!