When you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, having to decide how to feed your baby can feel incredibly overwhelming.

I was determined to breastfeed when I had my daughter. But the day we got home from the hospital she stopped nursing and lost too much weight.

Insistent on avoiding formula, I picked up a pump and tried to use it with no training. I ended up with a serious infection from having too much milk. Stress and complications caused by feeding concerns can greatly impact your mental health postpartum. It did for me. 

Eventually, I was able to block out the voices of judgment and put aside my feelings of guilt. I found what worked for me and my daughter: a combination of pumped breast milk and formula. My breastfeeding journey taught me that what my baby needed most was a happy, healthy mom.

Wondering whether you should breastfeed, pump, or bottle-feed with formula? Here are the pros, cons, and myths about feeding your baby through the first year of life so you can make the best decision for yourself and your child.

Breastfeeding myths

Myth #1: You have to exclusively breastfeed or not do it at all

Many parents choose to supplement breastfeeding with formula. If you need a break from nursing, this can help breastfeeding feel more manageable and give you the support you need to continue breastfeeding longer.

Myth #2: If I don’t breastfeed, I won’t bond with my baby

Nursing your baby is not required for bonding! While nursing does provide a skin-to-skin experience for you and your little one, bottle feeding also gives you the opportunity to snuggle and bond with your child.

Myth #3: I can’t breastfeed if I’m going back to work

Worried that your milk supply will peter out if you spend long hours at work away from your baby? Good news— pumping at work will keep your supply consistent and provide milk for your baby’s caregiver to offer while you’re away.

Breastfeeding women have legal rights to privacy and time to pump at work.

Myth #4: Breastfeeding is ALWAYS painful

It’s true that brand-new moms experience uterine cramping while nursing the first few days after giving birth and can have latch-on pain for the first minute or so of a nursing session.

Uterine cramping isn’t fun, but it’s actually good for your body. When your nipples are stimulated by nursing, it signals to your body to release oxytocin, a hormone that helps your uterus return to its normal shape.

Latch-on pain is brief and shouldn’t last more than a week and a half. If your nipples are especially sensitive, you can protect them by using creams specially designed to be safe for mom and baby.

Breastfeeding can be painful, and if you experience pain that doesn’t go away or that you haven’t already addressed with your healthcare provider, seek support from them or a lactation consultant. 

Myth #5 Formula isn’t good for babies

While healthcare providers agree that breast milk is the ideal food for babies, that doesn’t mean formula is unhealthy!

Actually, formula is a nutritious option for babies. It’s also safe. All formula sold in the US is regulated by the FDA to make sure it meets certain safety and nutrition standards. If you’re not sure which brand to go with, talk to your child’s healthcare provider for recommendations.

Breastfeeding pros and cons

Pros:

• It’s free — sort of. There are various gadgets you can buy to make breastfeeding easier such as nursing bras, milk-catching devices, and pillows made specifically for breastfeeding. However, none of that is necessary for breastfeeding.
• Many women enjoy the experience of breastfeeding their newborns.
• There are health benefits for both baby and mom. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding exclusively until 6 months of age, and here’s why:
• Immune cells are transferred from mom to baby in breast milk, helping protect the baby against diseases and infections.
• Decreased risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), asthma, obesity, and type 1 diabetes in breastfed babies.
• Helps mom with postpartum recovery.
• Breastfeeding shrinks the uterus and burns calories.
• Breastfeeding decreases the mother’s risk of certain cancers and other metabolic diseases.

Cons:

• You can’t measure the amount of milk your baby is getting. Although the baby's growth will be closely monitored by her pediatrician during the newborn stage, some moms find it stressful to be unsure how much milk their child is consuming.
• There are certain medications you cannot take if you are breastfeeding. It’s essential to discuss your medications with your OBGYN or pediatrician to make sure it’s safe for you to breastfeed.
• You have to watch what you eat and drink. Health experts recommend limiting caffeine and alcohol intake while breastfeeding since some can be transferred to the baby in the milk. Mom’s spicy or acidic foods can also cause a breastfed baby discomfort.
• Less freedom of movement. When exclusively nursing, it’s difficult to be away from your baby for more than a couple of hours.
• Nursing can be uncomfortable. Discomfort is common during nursing in the newborn stage. In rare cases, women can experience health complications like mastitis, infection, and inflammation in the breast.

Formula feeding pros and cons:

Pros:

• Anyone can feed a baby, not just mom. Dad, grandparents, siblings, and friends can bond with the baby through bottle feeding. Mom can leave for hours or even days at a time if she needs to.
• Peace of mind. You can measure exactly how much the baby is eating with each feeding.
• Formula-fed babies often need to eat less frequently. Formula takes longer to be broken down by the digestive tract than breast milk.

Cons:

• Formula is expensive. If you qualify for the government assistance program WIC, you can receive formula vouchers at no cost to you. If you don’t qualify for WIC, formula can cost a few hundred dollars per month.
• Lack of immune benefits for babies. While formula is packed full of all the nutrients a baby needs, including some vitamins not in breast milk, it does not contain antibodies.
• Lack of postpartum health benefits for mom. Women who exclusively formula feed from day one do not get the maternal health benefits postpartum that breastfeeding women do.
• Formula is a lot of work. Over time, formula can feel more laborious than breastfeeding, thanks to the time spent prepping, cleaning bottles, and following proper guidelines for storing formula.

Pumping pros and cons:

Pros:

• Cheaper than formula. Most insurance companies pay for a breast pump, but you still have to buy bottles, nipples, storage containers, and cleaning supplies as you would for formula feeding.
• To some extent, you can work pumping around your schedule. Pumping is ideal for working moms who want to continue to breastfeed since pumped breast milk can be labeled and brought to daycare.
• It’s easier to wean. Baby is already used to a bottle, so a transition away from pumped breast milk is less difficult than a transition from mom’s breast.
• You don’t actually have to nurse. Pumping is a great option for women who want to provide their baby breast milk but aren’t comfortable with direct nursing.
• You can help others. If you have an oversupply of milk, you can donate milk to a NICU or milk bank to be given to other babies.
• Convenience. Anyone can feed a baby from the bottle. You can also measure exactly how much the baby is eating.

Cons:

• For some babies, switching back and forth between a bottle and the breast can be hard. Some moms who would prefer to combine pumping with breastfeeding find that this method is too hard on the baby.
• Pumped breast milk must be kept cold and babies usually like it warm. There are clear guidelines regarding safely storing pumped breast milk. This can be a hassle for mom.
• It takes twice the time. Some consider pumping to be “double feeding” since it requires both the time to pump and then the time to bottle feed your baby.
• Clean-up. Formula feeding means a lot of bottles to clean.

Combo feeding pros and cons:

Pros:

• Health benefits. Antibodies and postpartum health benefits of breastfeeding will still benefit mom and baby when supplementing with formula.
• Works well for working moms. If your office is not very pumping friendly or your job involves a lot of travel, you can offer your baby breast milk when you’re able and formula when you need to.
• Less stress. Combo feeding takes pressure off of mom to constantly be expressing milk to keep up supply.Budget.
• By keeping breast milk in the mix, moms will need to purchase less formula than the parent of an exclusively formula-fed baby.

Cons:

• Lower milk supply. If you struggle with low supply, supplementing with formula can further lower your supply and cause you to stop producing milk sooner than you would like.
• If your baby has an allergic reaction, it can be hard to tell if it is from the type of formula or something in your diet. However, pediatricians can help identify the source of an allergy.

Do what works for you

Many of us go into labor with an idea of how we are going to feed our newborn. But as almost any mom will tell you, life with a newborn rarely goes to plan.

There’s no need for guilt, no matter how you end up feeding your child. Be proud that you got this child into the world, overcoming every obstacle and unexpected turn to finally be able to hold her in your arms.

Similar to your decision to pursue parenting in the midst of an unexpected pregnancy, you will likely feel judged for your decision on how to feed your child no matter what you choose. So do what’s best for your family and don’t forget to take care of yourself and ask for support each step of the way.