My first week upon moving to Austin, Texas I tried every taco joint I could find. I compared the queso at multiple locations. On my way home from work, I would often stop and try a slice from one of the pizzerias. That week I remember calling a friend and saying, “Austin is like Italy! The food is amazing! There’s something yummy on every corner!” I was The Very Hungry Caterpillar in a twenty-something form. Until I realized I wasn’t. I was pregnant.
We had been married for a while and this wasn’t part of the plan whatsoever. I had put my husband through chiropractic school, working as an elementary school special ed teacher to make ends meet. Each day at my desk I would secretly dream about working alongside my husband. Our dream was to open a chiropractic practice, and co-create a world changing health center. The timing of the pregnancy caught us very off guard!
Though shocked, nervous, terrified, and slightly excited, my professional plans of helping launch our business proceeded as planned. But my social life was abruptly interrupted by the pregnancy. My goal of trying every coffee shop in Austin? Couldn’t do that. Those caffeine intake maximums were strict. The music scene?...too smokey for expecting mommas. New friends? Socializing without drinking isn’t the most fun to do, in my humble opinion.
Moving to a brand new city, with a totally new job, and a new home is a lot of transition in itself. Finding out you’re unexpectedly pregnant with your first child adds a whole ‘nother layer of newness.
I proceeded to attempt to master it all, trying to manage my body, and our growing business. I remember one night waking up in the middle of the night and quickly hammering out lists of all that needed to be done. I needed to complete marketing strategies and insurance training, decorate the office, create scripts for talking to patients, and answer billing questions, etc. The lengthy, detail-oriented lists continued as I stayed awake well into the night. The following morning I woke up exhausted and throwing up, unable to come into work.
I realized that I had a choice: to stay the course, pouring into the practice; or I could focus on myself by taking a step back. For my well-being, I could not continue at maximum speed as an entrepreneur and being pregnant. I decided to step back and work part-time at the practice as an outreach coordinator. But the decision was a heart-wrenching one. I was surrendering my dream of being an entrepreneur, to become a mother.
Surrendering a dream is hard. I won’t sugarcoat it. For me personally, I just couldn’t have it all— strong mental health, growing a baby, and focusing all my energy into a growing practice. I knew I couldn’t manage the stress of being a full-time business manager while having a newborn.
Ultimately, stepping into the role of stay-at-home mom was the best decision for me and my baby. I don’t regret my decision to have my son. He is one of the greatest blessings of my life. He has brought so much joy, excitement, and fulfillment to us. Do I often wish I could have done both—launched the practice full-heartedly and have a baby? Yes. But I know my decision to stay at home was right for me and my family.
Being a stay-at-home parent has been more challenging than any lead role I could have ever taken on in the office. It has stretched me in ways I didn’t know possible. Motherhood has challenged me to be creative with my time and energy and made me surrender my desire for control.
Sometimes letting go of your expectations of how life would go gives you space to make the best choice for your well-being. The adventures I used to have by myself I now explore with my little one by my side. I am passionate about healthy living, and I love when my son gets excited about exercising and eating salads with me. I look forward to taking him on trips like hiking the Rocky Mountains or going back to my child-home town in Florida to surf.
Maybe you never saw yourself stepping away from your career to be a stay-at-home-mom, but here you are making it work. Whatever you choose, know this: you’re a great mom. You show up for your family every day and that is what really matters.