The course of my entire life changed right out of high school.

When I graduated, I moved to Texas for an internship. I was staying with this lady who ended up being unhealthy, so I decided to move into a homeless shelter. I didn't really have a lot of time to be lonely because I was so preoccupied with not wanting to be in a shelter and with looking for a job.

I was able to get my own place and life was going really smoothly for a while. And that’s when I got bored. I had a weakness when it came to men and attention. I didn't have any family around for the first time, so I went on dates just to get to know people.

I had no standard when it came to men. I was entertaining the most basic guys. And one thing led to another until I had a guy I was really into. We weren't official, but I became really upset with him when he told me that he was sleeping with other girls. It broke my heart.

The next thing you know, I was going on dates and using sex as a distraction from my own heartbreak. trying to fill that void or just trying to distract myself. 

Discovering My Pregnancy

I was at a college party when I started feeling really nauseous and feeling pain in my stomach. Pregnancy hadn’t crossed my mind at all.When the party was over, I went straight to the emergency room. I told them I wasn’t feeling well and they had me pee in a cup.

The doctor came in and said, “You're feeling sick because you're pregnant.” He gave me this news very positively, like he’d given me the best news. 

My response…, “What? Are you serious?”

Once he saw how upset I looked, I think he felt bad.

I walked out to my car bawling my eyes out. I had no idea who the father was.

That’s all I could think about. Knowing that everyone was going to have questions as to who he was and I’m going to have to confess that I have no idea. 

I was sitting there crying looking at abortion options on my phone—before this, I would have said abortion wasn’t for me. 

As I was looking at these abortion clinics, and the cost, I realized I couldn’t even afford to get one. 

Looking back now I’m grateful I didn’t have the money. 

If I had, my story might be different. I was overwhelmed. But thankfully, I moved past those initial sinking feelings and found some peace. Finding out I was unexpectedly pregnant brought me a lot of fear, but good decisions are not made out of fear, and I’m so glad I was able to move past the fearful thoughts. 

Pregnant and Alone

My pregnancy was rough. It was not easy. It was not pretty.

First of all, I didn't know who my son's father was. I was by myself. I wasn’t in a relationship with anybody. I would put my hand on my stomach and tell my baby sorry all the time. “I don't know who your dad is. I'm so sorry that this is the life that we have.”

Then I lost my job while I was pregnant. The day I lost my job was the same day I got the news that my son was positive for Down syndrome. I cried so hard that I threw up. I was in such a depression. I was so overwhelmed.

I had to go to the doctor's three times a week, every single week, for six months straight. But God is so good. He's so good. Because I lost my job, I was able to go to all those appointments. Then we discovered it was a false positive and my son did not have Down syndrome.And then God just showed off. I let my church know what was going on and that ministry paid for my rent. I ended up getting a new job at a preschool. They paid my car off. But that would not have happened if I did not lose my job.

I had heard about Embrace Grace from my mom. I had gotten a Love Box. So I started going to their meetings and it was the best part about pregnancy because I got to know other moms.

Discovering the Father

Finally, it was time to have my son. I reached out to the people I thought were potentially the father.

I was very transparent, letting them know, “Hey, I'm not 100% sure if you are the dad but you could be.”

They all blocked me except one. I only had one person that was willing to take a DNA test, so that was stressful to say the least.

My son was born and he went straight to the NICU. More stress. After my son recovered, I was able to do the DNA test with the one guy who had responded and been at least open to knowing whether he was a father. Against all odds, he ended up being the dad. Which was one question answered, but many more questions left. Now we had to figure out what raising a child meant for each of us. 

He was a stranger to me, and I had just become a new mom and trying to figure out parenting. It was hard to trust someone I didn’t know, but who I had a kid with. I had to trust somebody with my child, who's also his child, but I don't even know him. His dad has no idea how to be a dad because he doesn't have a dad to teach him, which shows up more times than not. Some months he's there and other months he's not.

Thriving as a Single Mom

Six years later, I am a teacher, DoorDash deliverer, and owner of a small business.

If a mom asked for my advice, I would just encourage her to give herself grace. Even when it's hard to give yourself grace—do it. Even when you don’t feel like you deserve it— you do.

While you are working on your career  and struggling, don't forget to dream big. You are a mom, and you’re also a daughter and a worker and a friend. Don’t limit yourself.  can speak about where you want to be and envision yourself there, then that's the first step to achieving your dreams! 

I do it all the time to encourage myself: “Yeah, girl, you know, I can't wait til we're in our million-dollar homes with our big backyards, at the poolside relaxing and the kids are running around.”

I don't see those things right now. But I can hold onto that dream to push myself and my family forward. Even when my dreams sound silly and it feels like they’re never going to happen. Dreaming keeps me alive. It keeps me going.

And my son hears me dream, too. We have to always remember that they're watching. You dream, and you believe anything's possible. Then your kids will, too.